


You came and filled the void

by Frehior



Category: Bleach
Genre: Adjuchas Ulquiorra, Book 3 Unmasked, Canon Compliant, Character Study, First Meetings, Gen, Gin & Tosen are mentioned, Hollow Ulquiorra, Hurt/Comfort, In a sense there's, Pre-Canon, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:28:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25357735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frehior/pseuds/Frehior
Summary: From within darkness he had been born to this world that meant nothing to him. To a world that was empty. He had nothing and no one, left to wander on his own. But even after finding a place that seemed to welcome him, he’s lost sight of what he wants."I’m Sousuke Aizen”, the creature before him spoke, wearing a distinctive white attire, "Ah, I seem to have missed your name…”When it had seemed like Ulquiorra had lost himself, someone else found him.// An exploration of how Aizen and Ulquiorra met, and why is it that the latter finds himself loyal to a Soul Reaper who wears white.
Relationships: Aizen Sousuke & Ulquiorra Cifer, Ulquiorra Cifer & Aizen Sousuke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. This Hueco Mundo

**Author's Note:**

> This follows through Ulquiorra's backstory in the book "UNMASKED". You can find it by searching the title & Ulquiorra's name, or [ HERE ](https://www.deviantart.com/ebony-of-the-moon/gallery/30633280/unmasked-english-). But as a quick summary, it's a brief backstory to Ulquiorra as an Adjuchas/Hollow with a little bonus :).
> 
> Ah, right, heads up! Gratuitous em dashes (—) and commas (,) lol.

Ulquiorra’s feet dragged across the sand heavily, the silence of this dark world in which he had been born accompanying him as always.

As if rejected from its infinite darkness, he had been born. From within darkness he had surfaced to this world that meant nothing to him, to a world that seemed to tell him: you are not needed, have no reason to exist. Completely different from his comrades, he had no one to look to. He had nothing — _was nothing in this world_ — and had no one — _he was no one_. From the moment he had dragged himself from that ever encompassing darkness he’d found himself in a void — _on his own, alone_ —, ostracized by those around him, being a target to them.

He couldn’t speak, had no mouth to do so, he couldn’t devour or chew as he had seen his comrades do before he had to kill them. He couldn’t hear their screams; their open mouths as he tore into their flesh were just that to him: open mouths, silent. He couldn’t feel the flesh that gave in easily under his hands, couldn’t feel the blood that tainted his white complexion, or the pain at the black creatures’ attacks. He supposed it made no difference what kind of mess he made, unable to smell or hear the despair of those black silhouettes who he did not resemble in color, or the blood spilt as he fought back the darkness’ attempt to claim him back, to extinguish him and drag him back to the very pit he had been rejected from.

He was everything those dark figures were not. Lacked everything they did not, and had what they didn’t. The darkness that had deprived him of almost all his senses except his sight had given him enough to see that his kin only relied on a drive Ulquiorra didn’t have himself. His green eyes had looked at them, how they looked feral, almost void of thought, how they moved through sheer instinct and suffered through their sensations. Maybe not being able to hear, to breath, to feel what this somber world had to offer was for the best. What did it had to offer, really? All that reflected on his eyes had no meaning to him, and anything that did not reflect in them had no reason to entertain his thoughts, they didn’t exist, after all.

Ulquiorra felt nothing, not even fatigue as he wandered this vast desert. His thoughts drifted to and fro, trying to find some sense —some reason or excuse— as to his presence in this world. His eyes never lingered too long on something, roaming around the scarce landscape that was this world. It was as if the world itself found no meaning in things, had no necessity in them, and kept only a limited amount of things to itself, like the sand under his feet, or the dark blanket up above, or that white thing that hung up in it, high and out of reach. Ulquiorra had been following it for some time— it wasn’t his companion, always indifferent to Ulquiorra’s movements, but it was the closest he had to company, and the only thing in which he could see part of himself reflected.

Like Ulquiorra, that white thing seemed to have been born from an infinite darkness, separated from it— rejected. It was mute, just like him. He wondered in silence if it, too, had killed its comrades after they had turned on it. That seemed logical, as it was the only one in that endless pitch black blanket that hung above him. For one second, he had questioned if it could hear, before forgetting about that thought, aware that it was unimportant, Ulquiorra’s inability to speak and hear making it impossible to communicate. What was there to say, anyway? Words, sounds, they meant nothing to him, his vernacular was empty.

But other than that, a few beings that moved and had everything Ulquiorra did not — _the blessing and curse of being able to feel (pain, most of the times) and open its mouth in response, to hear and sense, to breath in whatever scent this world offered_ —, there was nothing else this world offered. It felt as if it was devoid of plenty of things, as if it lacked something Ulquiorra couldn’t properly pinpoint or know. It was void. It was empty. It was _hueco_.

And after what seemed to be an eternity or a few seconds of walking, there was something that enthralled Ulquiorra’s only sense. It was the only thing in this vast emptiness that had enraptured him so far, his eyes lingering on it for more than two beats, his body standing still in what he can only assume a response to having found a purpose, a reason. It was, without a doubt, a gorgeous sight. The structure seemed to shine when put in contrast with the dark up above, where the sand did not touch. He moved towards it, body being pulled by an invisible force. As he grew closer, he could only be perplexed at the expanse of white before him, at the expanse of nothingness that shared his color. A void; a nothingness within nothingness.

He was aware of the sharp protuberances that pointed towards him, and towards the ground, and to the sides, and even towards the white that hung high— was this thing reaching for the thing above as Ulquiorra had tried futilely once? Ulquiorra wanted to tell it that trying was foolish, the white presence above provided nothing, only emptiness, being out of reach. He closed his eyes for a brief second, allowed himself to be lost completely to the emptiness of the world, keeping his only sense shut. When he opened them again, being up close made him realize that there was nothing to be given here. Similar to the darkness from which he was born, there was nothing in this light; yet Ulquiorra did not dare look away from it. And still… this was so different from the place he was born. This was the total opposite. Where the darkness that had rejected him seemed to suffocate his very existence, the whiteness here seemed to accept him with open arms, making him feel light and without worry about the fact that there was no meaning to this world.

Ulquiorra found a place to be, even as the jagged edges of the structures dug into his skin. He let himself be enveloped by it, letting the void that had hung on his back ever since he was born be consumed by this new one, allowing its white color and his own to mix, allowing the boundaries of them to be blurred, allowing himself to finally disappear.

Finding he had nothing to give and nothing to lose, same as this empty hollow world, allowed quietude to his mind.

Unwittingly, they’d end up giving to each other something. Ulquiorra gave it pieces of his mask, and in turn it gave him the senses he’d been lacking.


	2. A Meaningful Existence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it had seemed like Ulquiorra had lost himself, a creature wearing white found him.
> 
>  _"I’m Sousuke Aizen”_ , the creature said, and Ulquiorra decided to reach his hand towards a white flanked by a dark backdrop one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Aizen finally makes an appearance here! He might be a _bit_ OOC, but then again, I do picture this encounter to happen when he still wore that sweet-personality of his.

He had lain on that white structure for who knew how long. Time passed in a way he couldn’t grasp, couldn’t tell apart a minute from eternity. But he found himself at peace here, in the white nothingness that had signaled, in a sense, his death and rebirth, so opposite to the black nothingness from which he had been born.

Gaining the senses he’d been missing should have aroused something within him. An emotion, a thought. Yet somehow, after having traveled across this empty land, he had found himself uncaring of that. What did it matter if he only had his sight, or his sense of touch? It didn't. His purpose in this world was unknown, if this existed at all— Ulquiorra doubted it, by now aware that there was nothing to this nothingness. The wind, as rare as it was, did nothing more than capture his attention for a few seconds, feeling it against his skin, yet being unable to see it. He wondered if this was a side effect to finally being exposed, to finally have what he seemed to be lacking when born, some sort of hallucination or something born from his imagination. The sounds that made way to his ears, although new and unexpected, soon blended in with a silence, Ulquiorra guessed the variety of sounds mattered not, all having no sense, all sounding the same in spite of the different tone in them. 

The pain from his wounds had effortlessly bled into numbness, and he no longer could tell where did it hurt— because to him, it all felt the same.

“Are you in need of help?”

Ulquiorra wondered how long would it take for the overcoming whiteness to swallow him. Lost in his thoughts and inquiries, he didn’t catch the new sound; not like it mattered, it all blended into background noise before it did to silence.

"What is the matter? Would you happen to be in your last moments?" There is a light mirth to the tone, amusement morphing to real curiosity as green eyes focused on him.

At first, the sight had been what had drawn Ulquiorra in. Sharp white a contrast to the dull black of the horizon.

As the creature neared the structure, his brown eyes hadn't missed the form lying between all the branches, white blemished by dried blood. The silence of the Vasto Lorde only piqued Aizen's curiosity further, and he neared the still figure, offering a hand.

"I'm sure you can understand me. Come with me, I'll pull you out of your misery."

The green gaze, so distant and hollow, didn't offer an inkling of an emotion even as Aizen smiled, awaiting a response. The outstretched hand lingered in place as Ulquiorra blinked without hurry, trying to understand what this creature wanted. Pull him out of his misery… was he in misery? He couldn’t tell, couldn’t care. He opened his mouth to tell the creature to let him be, but no word escaped him. Or maybe he couldn’t hear himself. If his face twisted and his mouth opened the way those who resembled him in shape but not in color, would he be able to tell? If he made a sound, would it compare to theirs?

The stranger before him simply smiled wider as if understanding his experience, and Ulquiorra’s attention drifted for a moment to the two different figures standing just behind the one that was in front of him. They wore colors similar to his own. White. Would they accept him the way his kind hadn’t?

“Do you need a reason to exist by my side, then?” Aizen asked, head tilting as he looked at him, still awaiting an answer.

_To exist._ Ulquiorra had been existing before, he was sure, but not by anyone’s side or for anyone. Even the silent companion that stayed in the dark blanket up above seemed to ignore his existence. He was being recognized by this unknown creature, acknowledged in the way this world hadn’t.

“I’m Sousuke Aizen, pleased to meet you. My two companions are Gin and Tosen. I’m sure you could be useful, wouldn’t you like to find a purpose within this broken world?” The words caused a reaction from Ulquiorra, and his fingers twitched with an itch to see what this creature was offering him. Where his senses had not changed the way he experienced this empty world, the stranger’s words held a promise he wanted to _see_. A vision. “Let’s give it a meaning, alright?"

There was something to the words Ulquiorra couldn’t quite decipher. An underlaying emotion or tone he couldn’t relate to, couldn’t bring himself to recognize — _mindfulness, he’d later find out, kindness if he dared to be arrogant and ignorant of Aizen’s ulterior motive_ — but made something in him stir like nothing else in this world had.

“Help me, and we can create a new world. Wouldn’t you like to see my vision come to life…? Ah, I seem to have missed your name…”

Where this _Hueco Mundo_ had spurned him and deprived him, Sousuke Aizen was welcoming him with open arms, offering a reason to exist as well as a purpose; he was willing to give a meaning to this empty world that had suffocated him ever since his birth. Sousuke Aizen was offering his hand, and with it, a meaningful existence.

_If I can exist by your side, will you give me a purpose?_

This time he tried to make sounds come forth, tried to find his voice in this empty world. His hand reached out to the one who wore white. 

“Ulquiorra."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always wondered WHY is it that Ulquiorra's so loyal to Aizen, when many of the other Espada have expressed their distaste for him. Beyond recognizing Aizen's power, I can't think of another reason. Which is how this fic came to be! After reading UNMASKED and regarding Ulquiorra's experience as an Adjuchas, I couldn't resist exploring this idea :9. So Ulquiorra's loyalty is more intrinsic than a simple "Oh, he's powerful, what am I to do, oppose him and die?"
> 
> After revisiting this work, I want to explore the other Espada's (possible) reasons for following Aizen. When I started this fic I had a couple ideas that didn't lead to anything. But now I'm itching to explore and develop them. Who knows...
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this second part! The work itself was meant to be a single chapter, but it felt... better? to break it into two parts instead.

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, when I begun this story I must have been struck by inspiration. This was a tough one to develop, but I'm nonetheless satisfied by the end result (at least for now, I'll look back at it in 2 years and be aghast at my writing style, I'm sure lol).
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed exploring Ulquiorra's perspective & character!


End file.
